But of Course

But of course I keep it hidden Or at least I pretend to This broken heart That bleeds the words I used to write in poems I am trying to drink it away Liquid 90 proof Liquid tears Raindrops that fall on my face when I run The hot water of the showers to cry in Time Some days my enemy Some days my friend I hope you are happy One of us needs to be Once you emailed we have need to meet But what was the point really? A Christmas present of a cd long ago promised Or a book to add to my Poet Laureate collection? Presents are put away Painful reminders of my love I wanted to show The physical was the gift no one else was given When it was taken away, I forgot how to breathe I am trying hard to find my way I wish I could get over you But that is like asking the sun not to shine

One Life

One Life You hurt me As easily as one who reaches up And pulls the chain on the light You ended it Just like that, in an email My last memory of you was pulling away From a mailbox with an angry look in your eyes I try to remember how many times instead I saw another look of sweetness and desire, It comes to me in my dreams as a relief from pain Your concscious is no longer heavy I carry the weight instead in my heart I saw your car yesterday at 5 pm And this morning at the place I first read my poetry to you And oh how I wanted to stop and run inside I remember how I felt hot the first time Embarressed to read my simple prose but I did anyway I must have listened to my heart Such a simple way to trust and love Remember that when you see the picture of the heart in the tree I took and gave you in 2008 Will you cary it with you when you close the store? I just ordered a new book to read It tells our story - It is called From the Land of the Moon I don't know yet how it ends I know I miss you every day Maybe the ending will give me a clue On what to do I am miserable I am reading, writing and listening to music Except for tonight in my weakness I wrote this note to you I hope you miss me And I hope you wonder if it was really worth it Considering how we only have one life No one knew, there was safe haven in my arms How I do long for the touch that was The empty place inside me is so cold I never did anything but love you And now I only go through the motions My secrets are my own